


If I Knew Then What I Do Now

by JellyfishWeeb100



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Main Character is a witch, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Not Canon Compliant, Ragnarok, Time Loop, if you're here for romance you're gonna be disappointed just saying, references to major character deaths, relationship is background not the plot, sad shit but also humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-19 14:50:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22779499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellyfishWeeb100/pseuds/JellyfishWeeb100
Summary: As Asha watched Ragnarok lay claim to Asgard, fire pouring over the land she once called home, she wondered if there was something that triggered all of it. If there was something, anything she could have done to stop all this.If only she had a little more time.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	1. January First

Despite of the late morning light streaming through the windows and painting her chambers in gold, Asha was slow to rise. She sat up stiffly, bones creaking and aching and exhaustion seeming to spring on her out of nowhere.

She eventually rose, not bothering to fix her tangled sheets, and dressed herself simply. As she ran her fingers through her unruly curls, she cast lazy eyes over the calendar beside the bed. It was January first. Again.

The day would begin with the library - as always - where the younger of the two princes would be reading a book. She began her trek down the endless corridors of Asgard’s royal palace, hands clasped neatly in front of her.

She pushed open the heavy, ornate doors and threaded her way through the bookshelves, trying to seem as casual as one could when they were secretly plotting to meet someone. She grabbed a random book along her way and approached the sitting area at the heart of the room, trying her best to seem disinterested and aloof.

As always, there Loki sat, clad in his usual regal attire of black and green. He glanced up at her approach, but for the most part remained interested in the pages in front of him.

“This seat taken?” She asked, but sat down across from him before he could answer. He made some non-committal hum, and she opened her own novel.  _ The 100-Years War between Asgard and Midgard.  _ Gods, how dry.

“Find something interesting?” Loki eventually broke the quiet spell and placed a marker between his pages. 

“Oh yes,” Asha heard herself lie. “I think it’s important to refresh oneself on the history of their own planet once in a while.”

Loki hummed again, unconvinced. When she ventured a glance at him, his eyes were hard, calculating. “You’re acting differently today.”

Loki was always the first one to be suspicious. He’s far too clever for his own good. Asha knew just what to expect though, and was quick with her response. “To be truthful, I’ve been feeling unwell lately. The healers say it will pass, though - nothing to get worked up over.” She gave him her best smile, the one that managed to convince everyone else.

Loki was not so easy a sell. He narrowed his eyes further and crossed his arms over his chest. “You say you are being truthful, yet you lie right to my face. Is there something I’ve done to upset you?”

For a second, she felt her chest squeeze so tightly it could burst. For just a second, she almost caved. But the next moment she squared her shoulders and pasted on a neutral expression. Telling him the truth never seemed to work out in the past, anyways. She decided to go for a different approach, albeit a cryptic one. 

“Tell me silvertongue, if someone were to offer you great power for seemingly little in return, what say you?”

He seemed surprised by her sudden change in topic, but mulled over the question anyway. “Well, I’d say that sounds like a trap.”

“Does it not? My thoughts exactly.”

“What do you mean by this question, witch?” he called her by her nickname, payback for her own “silvertongue” comment. It made her smile at the familiarity of it. 

Her smile dimmed slightly though, when she remembered where she was and why. Back to being serious. “Do you know of the mad titan, Thanos?”

“I do not.”

“He’s dangerous, Loki. And so very powerful. He captures people with promises of wealth and power, and uses them. Rumor has it, he has his sights set on you.”

Loki’s eyes widened just slightly before he laughed. “And where exactly have you heard such strange things? You’ve become quite the conspirator lately.”

But Loki was a little more paranoid than that, and Asha knew it. The seed was planted. She could only pray now that he’d take her warning seriously this time. 

He must have noticed her somber expression because he leaned closer to her, a smirk on his lips and a hand over his heart. “I promise, if any titan offers me power heretofore unheard of, I will reject him.”

“Good,”  _ the fate of the realm depends on it.  _ “Never ignore a witch’s warning.”

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and stood from his spot. “As much as I love these strange discussions of ours, I am needed elsewhere this afternoon. Do try not to bore yourself to tears with that one, it’s rather verbose,” he nodded to the book in her hands.

She waved him off, watching him until he left the library. With him out of sight, she tossed the book aside and sprawled herself across the couch, intent on taking a nap.

Unfortunately, it would seem fate had other plans for her. The door burst open once more and heavy footsteps tread into the space. That obnoxious gait could only belong to one person and Asha groaned. 

“Asha? Are you in here?” Thor’s voice boomed in the quiet library and she groaned again. She sank deeper into the couch, praying he might not see her and go looking elsewhere. 

No such luck.

“Ah, there you are! My, you aren’t sleeping are you? The day’s just begun!” Thor was smiling down at her, looking every bit the “golden prince” the ladies of the palace called him. 

“Thor, people are trying to study here.”

“Oh! Sorry,” He did manage to bring his voice down to a normal level, for which Asha was grateful. “Are you busy? The warriors three and I are going for a hunt this afternoon and you must join us. As your prince, I order it.”

Ahsa rolled her eyes at him, which only seemed to make his smirk grow. “Can’t  _ prince,  _ I have some reading I need to do.”

“Asha, I  _ ordered  _ it. We need our trusted spell-caster!”

“I’m sure you’ll manage somehow. Really, I can’t.” She turned back to her book, trying valiantly to ignore his pouting.

“You really aren’t going to join us?” She shook her head, not bothering to look up from her book and he sighed. “Just last month you were itching for a fight with anything that dared move, yet as of late all you want is to sit with your books. Scared?” She finally did look up then, eyes stony. He scoffed, and turned to leave.    
  
_ You’ll be dead by this time next year, and yet you go galavanting without a care in the world, _ she wanted to tell him. But he would only look at her with confusion and some worry. He always did when she tried to warn him, he was immovable.    
  
She was learning to accept that. After all, it wasn’t his shoulders that burdened the fate of the realm. It was his younger brother that carried that weight, and she only needed to convince him of that.

Of only he’d listen.   
  


\---

  
  


Three months later, Asha stood in the throne room packed with what seemed to be the entire population of the planet. She hung towards the back, tempted to cover her ears to block out the swarm of noise. Instead, she glanced around to room with disinterest, taking in the lavish gold decor and banners streaming from the vaulted ceilings. There was a band playing on one end of the room, but their music was almost completely drowned out by the excited chatter of the crowd. Three guards stood at the entrance, only a few feet away from her, but Asha figured they’d be too busy guarding the ceremony room to pay her much mind. She wandered out into the hall, glancing around as if she were waiting on someone, while she silently counted the guards stationed there. Eight. Eight guards lined the hall to the room. 

Surely, at least one of them would hear her. 

She paced back into the ceremony room and pulled a large pendant out of its hiding place in her corset. She flicked the face open, revealing an intricately designed clock. She was early, the coronation ceremony wouldn’t begin for another ten minutes. Then, after it began, Thor would arrive exactly three minutes late and the doors would be shut. She’d have to make it out before then and warn the guards.

She drew in a long breath, willing herself to relax a little. Her acting would only be so convincing if she stayed calm. 

She kept her eyes trained on the main entrance across the room, tapping the seconds down with her foot. Around her, the crowd quieted and she registered Odin’s booming voice declare the beginning of the ceremony, but she kept her focus on the door. 

_ There.  _ Thor’s unmistakable golden head and red cape bobbed into focus. Asha turned and made for the exit closest to her, keeping her chin held high. 

She was quickly learning that as long as you acted confidently, no one would question where you were going and why. The thought almost made her smile, but she kept her expression neutral. An insane grin probably wouldn’t make her story very credible.

The guards at the door shot her a look as she left - no doubt contradicting all social protocol by ditching the prince’s coronation ceremony - but didn’t move to stop her. 

Once in the hall again, she pasted on her best troubled expression and approached the guards. “Erm, excuse me?” The guard closest glanced down at her, but did not speak right away. She clasped and unclasped her hands, biting at her lip. “I know this sounds silly, but I believe I heard noises coming from the palace vaults just a moment ago. Would it be too much trouble to send someone to check it?”

The guard shuffled nervously. He wasn’t meant to leave his post, but she could see the way her words were working on him. She pressed in closer. “Oh, perhaps  _ you  _ could look into it for me! Someone as capable as yourself could surely take care of any threat to the palace.” She smiled sweetly to punctuate her words.

“Well… maybe it wouldn’t hurt just to check…” His cheeks were faintly pink, and Asha’s smile grew.  _ Bingo.  _

“Bjarke, don’t be foolish,” the guard to his left hissed. He turned his attention to Asha standing beside him. “No one would dare attack the palace during such a momentous occasion. Anything you may have heard was simply your imagination, girl.”

She narrowed her eyes, dropping the demure damsel act. “And how can you be so sure?” She snapped back. 

“I’m  _ sure  _ that the both of us could lose our jobs if we leave our posts.” He raised his eyebrows at the guard named Bjarke, who seemed to shrink back embarrassed. 

_ Quickly, quickly!  _ Asha glanced around frantically, trying to pull some other excuse but she came up empty handed. She would just have to get to the vaults herself.

“Perhaps you’re right,” she said, nodding to the guard. “I suppose I’m a bit paranoid,” she chuckled and straightened her dress, trying to seem casual even though Plan A was currently going south very fast. 

With the guards placated, she turned to continue down the hall. A rough hand on her arm stopped her. She whipped back, coming face-to-face with the idiot guard from before. “And just where do you think you’re going? The ceremony is this way.”

She wrenched her arm free, glaring at him with all the fire she could muster. “I’m simply getting some air. You dare touch a lady of the court in such a way? I have half a mind to report you to the nearest-”

“Alright!” he snapped, holding up his hands in surrender. “Go on, then. No need to be rash.”

She smiled and turned to leave, but just slow enough to hear him mutter, “you’re hardly a lady, though. Crazy witch.”

She pretended she hadn’t heard him, the smirk on her face growing wide.  _ Well, you’re right about that at least. _

  
  
  


Asha made her way down the halls to the vault, doing well to stick to the less-used corridors and stairwells. She knew this route like the back of her hand - even down to the guard rotations surrounding it. 

Speaking of, she pressed herself flat against the entrance to the vaults, using the shadows as camouflage. She pulled out her pendant and counted down the minutes until the next rotation.

“You’ll only have a window of about thirty seconds to slip in through the door unnoticed. Think you’ll manage?” A voice whispered behind her and Asha shrieked. Or, would have shrieked, had a large hand not clamped over her mouth just in time. She turned on her heel, ramming her elbow into the ribs of her assailant. 

Loki dropped his hand and staggered back, looking down at her with a wicked smirk. “Ouch.”

After realizing who it was, she let out a relieved breath. Then, almost immediately, tensed back up again.  _ Shit. He isn’t supposed to be here.  _

“What are you doing creeping around the vaults, huh? You scared me.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, as if to say he could ask her the exact same thing.

She sighed, deciding it would be safe to go with the same story she used before. “I heard something coming from down here. I had a bad feeling about it, but the guards won’t listen to me.”

His eyes widened. “I’m in the same predicament. If someone wanted to attack the palace, today would be the day to do so. I’m afraid my father didn’t feel the same way.”

“Obviously,” Asha nodded, looking back to the entrance. “There’s only a fraction of the usual guards here, since everyone’s so focused on the ceremony.”

His smile grew, eyes lighting on her. “This could be dangerous, Asha. We could be in big trouble for sneaking around here like this.”

She couldn’t help but return his wicked smile, despite herself. “Well, what do you say we make a little mischief, silvertongue?”

He grinned and tugged her close, just in time for the guards to rotate their position. Once the doors were open, he pulled her inside, keeping close to the shadows. 

This was dangerous territory, being this close to him. It was starting to feel a little too familiar and it made Asha’s heart ache. Still, though, she couldn’t seem to stop smiling. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of time-loops in stories and I've had this idea for one brewing for a while. I know this first chapter probably didn't make much sense, but the plot will become more clear in later chapters. 
> 
> Thanks - as always - for reading! I will try to update this one a little more regularly than some of my other stuff *looks at Calamity and starts sweating*
> 
> Oh, and like I said in the tags, the Loki/reader relationship will just be kind of a background thing and not the focus of the plot. But Loki will definitely be a main character, so you'll still be seeing a lot of him in this one. Uhhh yeah, I think that's it.


	2. Plan B

The pair had scarcely made it behind the door when an explosion sent them backward. Asha cried out as her back hit the wall, pain shooting through her. The deafening blast left her clutching her head, willing her vision not to fade.

Loki’s face swam into view, concern and anger mixing up his features. He held out a hand and she took it, pulling herself upright. 

_ Right, wait two rotations before entering as to avoid the blast. Damn, Loki distracted me.  _ She thought bitterly to herself, eyes darting around the room. The wall at the far end had been caved in, leaving room for the attackers to pour in. Frost giants, in all of their menacing glory, spilled into the space and ran for one of the treasures propped up on a pedestal.

_ The Casket of Ancient Winters.  _ She needed to act quickly; if they got their hands on the casket, Plan A would be done for. 

Asha crouched down, placing her hands on the floor. She began the incantation, eyes trained on the giants as the words fell from her lips. 

The spell was working, stopping the giants in their tracks with a powerful electric current. They jolted in place and writhed, a horrible cacophony of gurgled screams filling the room. Loki watched on for a moment, impressed, before springing into action. He wielded his horned helmet like a blade, knocking the giants off their feet. 

The spell wouldn’t keep them for long. Asha could already feel her power draining, slipping through her fingers like sand. She was already spent, and such a powerful spell certainly didn’t help her energy levels. Her vision began to fade, and through the haze, she didn’t notice the giant who had evaded her.

A sharp crack on her back made her stumble forward, face meeting the ground. An ice-cold blade met her neck, but another force stopped the attack. One of the remaining Asgardian guards took out the frost giant with a sword to the ribs. 

The next moment, Loki was helping her to her feet once more. “Is it over?” She wheezed.

“Appears so, there weren’t many of them.” He said, eyes narrowed over the carnage. Suddenly, his head snapped to the entrance, listening for something. Without warning, he was gone in a flash of gold. 

“An illusion, huh? Had me fooled.” Asha mused to herself, watching his image fade away. Then she heard the footsteps, loud and racing down the stairwell to the vault.  _ Shit.  _

Odin paced into the room, looking far too calm for someone who’s palace had just been attacked. Thor charged beside him, Mjölnir in one hand and the other clenched into a fist. Loki, the  _ real  _ Loki, was taking up the rear, expression detached and bored.

_ You little shit.  _ Asha shot him a glare before turning her attention to Odin. She bowed deeply, wincing as she did. “Your Majesty.”

“What happened here?” He asked, not looking at her but instead electing to inspect the casket. 

“Isn’t that obvious, father? Frost giants,” Thor seethed, cheeks rudy with rage. “If they think for a second they can get away with treason on this scale-”

“Enough,” Odin barked. “The attackers have already paid the price with their lives. Our treaty with Jotunheim is fragile as it is, we must not make a mountain out of a molehill.” 

“Well, as King-”

“You are not king!” Odin slammed his scepter to the floor, making Asha flinch as she watched on. “Not yet,” he amended. “You are acting as a warrior, not as someone meant to protect the kingdom.”

“This was an act of war! We can’t just let them get away with this!”

“It was the actions of a few.”

“They murdered our men,” he snarled back, fist clenched over Mjölnir. “He injured my friend!”

“Your friend,” Odin snapped back, “who was not supposed to _ be here.  _ What say you, Lady Asha? Do you have an explanation for your presence here?”

She refused to shrink under his intense gaze, but couldn’t forgo the slight dip of her head as was expected of her under the address of her king. “Your Majesty, I heard the commotion coming from the vault. As a protector of the throne, I felt obligated to investigate.” There. Not the whole truth, but something plausible. 

Odin scoffed. “You were not called to help. There is no need for you to take matters into your own hands.”

Asha did her best to look ashamed of her actions, but internally she was relieved by the king’s leniency. She couldn’t carry out her plan very well locked up somewhere.

If Asha had had it her way, the frost giants would not have been able to enter the palace in the first place. But, she knew preventing that would be too risky. She couldn’t think of a faster way to reveal her hand, especially to the green-eyed prince currently watching her with rapt interest.

\----

The freezing air of Jotunheim nipped at Asha’s bare hands and cheeks. She pulled her furs tighter around herself, shivering against the wind. 

This was a bad idea. She had tried, alongside Loki, to convince Thor of that but his rage made him blind. She glared at the back of his head as they walked, wishing - not for the first time today - that she could simply knock some sense into him. 

Despite her objections to the journey, she had insisted Thor bring her along.  _ You might need a witch on your side, should things go badly -  _ she’d told him. But she already knew how this ended - had seen it all before. She only prayed that this time around she may be able to convince him to leave peacefully.

Asha was not optimistic about that. 

They approached an alcove of ice, several pairs of red eyes peering at them from above. Thor began to exchange words with one that appeared to be their leader, but Asha hardly paid any attention, too busy running through all the possible ways this could go wrong in her head. 

“Go home, little Asgardian. Leave now and I will forgive this slight,” One of the frost giants taunted from his perch of black ice. 

Loki placed a hand over Thor’s shoulder, but addressed the Jotun leader with his next words. “We will accept your most gracious offer. Come on, Thor.”

Thor wouldn’t budge, though, and Asha felt her heart race. She needed to act now. “We apologize for the misunderstanding,” She flashed their leader what she hoped was a placating smile. “We’ll take our leave now.”

Her words seemed to spur Thor into action and he turned to leave. She blew out a sigh of relief a moment too soon, as one of the frost giants mumbled something under his breath. She wasn’t sure what it was that he said, but Thor’s demeanor instantly changed. In seconds, his hammer was flying through the air, knocking the giant back through layers of ice. 

The rest of the warriors sprang into action to help defend the prince, but Asha could only stand and watch the exchange. She felt her heart sinking straight through her stomach.  _ No, no, no.  _ She cried to herself. It was too late -  _ she  _ was too late. So much for Plan A. 

She stayed rooted on the spot, even as the bodies of frost giants flew past her, and even as their leader charged towards her, hand formed into a blade of ice.

She closed her eyes then, wondering why in the world she even tries. Wondering if it would be better this way - a warrior’s death on some frozen planet - than try to continue this fight any longer. After all, it seemed every action she took was completely useless in stopping any of this from happening.

But then, maybe she just hadn’t figured out the perfect plan yet. She still had time. 

A hard shove from her left sent Asha flying through the air and landing hard against the snow and ice. She gasped at the pain, eyes flying open. Loki crouched over her, his own blade bloodied in the snow beside him.

“What the  _ hel  _ are you doing?” He hissed. “This is no time to be standing around! You could have been killed!”

_ He has a point. I can’t afford to die here, not now. Not when I’ve come this far.  _ She stood up, shaking the snow from her cloak. “I’m sorry.”

Loki gave her another long look, scrutinizing her. “Good. Don’t let it happen again.” And then he was gone, charging back into the fight like nothing had happened.

Asha smiled, readying her own spells. 

After all, there’s always a Plan B.

  
  


\---

Asha pulled along an injured Fandral, struggling under his weight as they made their way to the infirmary. He was slurring something about  _ “beating those giants to a pulp for stabbing him”  _ but Asha wasn’t paying him much mind. 

How quickly everything had gone so wrong. She wondered where along the lines she’d failed. Was it in the vault? Maybe if she’d spoken up then, she could have placated Thor sooner. Or, rather, perhaps she should have tried harder to talk him out of going to Jotunheim. 

Thor’s actions were not inconsequential, after all. He may not be the one to doom the planet, but he was certainly a piece of the larger puzzle. 

He was being exiled to Midgard right this moment, but the other warriors didn’t know that yet. Asha didn’t intend to be the one to break  _ that  _ news to them. And with him gone, well… things were only going to go from bad to worse.

“Helloooo? Asha?” She snapped her head up, looking into the eyes of a concerned Lady Sif. “We’ve arrived at the healers, you can let him down now.”

Asha nodded, hoisting Fandral onto a cot with the help of Volstagg. When she stood again, Sif was still examining her.

“What?”

Sif smiled. “You had quite the murderous look in your eye just a moment ago. Upset that you didn’t get in a good hit on the frost giants?”

Asha rolled her eyes at her teasing and turned to leave. “Hardly. You know I don’t care for bloodshed.”

Sif jogged to keep up with her swift pace. “Well then, what is it? You do seem rather upset about something.”

Her concern for her made Asha’s chest tighten. She wished for all the world that she could tell her everything, just like she used to. They used to be such good friends. That felt like light years ago now, though. 

She opted instead for the half-truth. That was her specialty now, after all. “Just upset over Thor’s thick skull is all.”

“You do not agree with his actions?”

“No, and neither should you. He’s done irreversible damage to our relations with the frost giants.”

“Asha, they  _ were  _ the ones who started this. Besides, he will soon be our king. We must put our trust in him.” Sif sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She couldn’t blame Sif for her words. Once upon a time, Asha probably would have said the exact same thing. If Sif only knew the true consequences of Thor’s actions today, she might not be so gracious. 

“Perhaps you’re right,” Asha lied, smiling at her. “Maybe I’m being too harsh. If you’ll excuse me, I’m quite exhausted. I think I will retire for the night.”

“Of course,” Sif said, turning back to the infirmary. 

Asha continued along the corridor, but passed her chambers and headed straight for the library. She had some research to do if she was going to try to fix this mess. 

\---

By the time Loki found Asha in the library, it was deep in the night. The palace was quiet and the library empty, allowing them to speak freely without fear of disturbing anyone.

“Ah, so you are awake. Sif told me you’d gone to bed,” Loki said as he approached the table she was sitting behind. Hands clasped behind his back, he bent to read the spines on her pile of books. “ _ The Prophecy of Ragnarok, Twilight of the Gods, The Death of the Gods, Asgard’s fate…  _ My, what a morbid topic. What are you reading all these for?”

“For fun,” Asha replied dryly, flipping the page on her current book,  _ Ancient Asgardian Magick.  _ “Did you need something?”

“I came to talk,” Loki sighed, taking up the seat across from her. “Thor has been… banished. For the time being, anyway.”

Asha did her best to look surprised. “That’s quite a harsh punishment, isn’t it?” 

Loki nodded. “I tried to intervene, but I’ve rarely seen the Allfather so angry.”

The way he addressed his own father, suddenly so detached and cold, did not escape Asha’s notice.  _ So, he knows of his lineage now? Perfect. There goes Plan B.  _

“Yes, well, he did just destroy the peace treaty we had with Jotunheim. I can’t exactly blame the king for acting as he did.”

Loki nodded, mulling over her words. He stretched back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table, letting out a long sigh. 

Asha returned her focus to her reading, willing some of the words to stick in her exhausted mind. She was not very successful. After another beat of silence, Loki spoke again.

“May I ask you something, witch? And get nothing but honesty in return?” 

_ Uh oh. This could be dangerous.  _ “Of course.”

“How do you feel about the frost giants?”

He stared at her, expression unreadable. For her part, Asha melted with relief. That question, at least, she could answer honestly.

“If you are asking if I share the same resentment of them as our friends, the answer is no. I only want peace between our nations.”

Her answer seemed to relieve Loki a bit. His shoulders sagged and his lips curled into a half-smile. Asha returned the look before standing up and gathering her books to take back with her. “Walk me to my chambers, silvertongue?”

“Of course,” he said, and stood to follow her out of the library.

Nearly at her chamber door, Asha spoke again. “Well, we shouldn’t feel too badly for Thor. Midgard, I hear, is beautiful this time of year.”

Loki stopped in his tracks, eyebrows drawn in confusion. “How do you know he was banished to Midgard? I never told you that.”

Asha felt her heart stop. The color drained from her cheeks.  _ You idiot. Why, why, why did you say that? _

She laughed, trying to sound casual. “Did you not? I do remember hearing you say so.”

Loki hummed, mouth drawn into a thin line. “Perhaps I’m wrong.”

“Oh, where did the time go? I really must go to bed. Goodnight, Loki!”

“Goodnight.” He said. His gaze pierced her even as she moved to close her door.

  
With the door closed, she let her smile melt away, dropping the books on her desk.  _ I really ought to be more careful.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're familiar with the first Thor movie, I'm sure you've noticed by now that the events I describe are not quite the same as they are in movies. I have to change quite a bit of the narrative to make this story work, so I apologize if that's something that bothers you.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. The Fall

Asha scribbled furiously in her journal, pen flying across the pages. Her hand could hardly keep up with her racing thoughts, resulting in a jumbled mess of handwriting that she would no doubt have to decipher later. 

_ “Thor, exiled. This timeline will now follow one of two paths. Loki will betray Thor and try to claim the throne as his own, ultimately leading him into the hands of Thanos. Or, Odin will resist his slumber and maintain his rule. If the timeline follows the first path…” _

Asha continued her fevered writing for hours, never letting her hand rest. She needed to be as thorough as possible, creating back-up plans for her back-up plans. Only when she started running off the last page of the book and writing on the back cover, did she let herself rest. Not a moment too soon, as a knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Just a moment!” She called, springing up from her chair at the desk. She crossed the room to her wardrobe and opened the bottom drawer. Buried under a layer of trousers and silk shirts, she laid the journal amidst several others identical to it. Just as she was shutting the drawer, the door opened behind her.

“Sorry for the intrusion, my lady,” one of the palace maids addressed her with a dip of her head. “The warriors three and Lady Sif have requested your presence in the west wing lounge. They told me it was urgent.”

“Of course, thank you,” Asha said and joined the maid out into the hall. 

The girl led her down the winding corridors clear to the other end of the palace. She left her outside the lounge door with another shallow bow. 

Asha entered the room, just in time to watch Volstagg and Fandral argue over the former’s appetite.  _ Is this what was so urgent? I have better things to do than watch this. _

Sif spotted her first. “Oh, Asha! You’re just in time. We could use your wits just now.”

“If you’re asking me to take sides in this argument, I’m going to have to pass.”

“Oh, no,” Sif said, pulling the two men apart. They glared at each other once more before taking their seats on the sofa. “Have you heard about… about Thor?”

“I have,” Asha nodded and took a seat amongst the warriors. “He was exiled three days ago to the planet Midgard.”

“Right, good, you’re all caught up. We intend to speak with the Allfather about exactly that.”

Asha couldn’t help but scoff. “And what will that accomplish exactly? You think he will lessen Thor’s punishment if you put in a good word?”

Sif balked at her words. “You needn’t be so pessimistic! He could very well listen to what we have to say!”

Asha sighed, letting her words sink in. Perhaps Sif had a point. If they could convince Odin to let Thor back in, that could be just the solution she was looking for.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Speaking of Thor’s exile,” Hogun spoke up from his own spot, dark eyebrows pinched. “I do find it strange how the frost giants broke into the palace in the first place.”

“What are you suggesting?” Fandral asked, apparently done with his pouting.

Hogun let out a long breath as if the thought alone made him uncomfortable to admit. “Heimdall said he could not see them get in. It would take powerful magic to perform a feat like that.”

Asha’s eyes widened.  _ My, he figured that out quickly.  _

The other warriors slowly seemed to understand what he was suggesting. “Would Loki really do such a thing?” Fandral asked.

“I don’t know,” Hogun answered. “But he is certainly capable of such.”

“Well, then, we’ll share our concerns with the king,” Sif said, standing up to lead the way. “Let’s go, we shouldn’t waste any more time.”

  
  
  
  
  


_ Son of a bitch. _

Loki sat upon the throne of Asgard, a condescending smile on his face as he regarded his friends. That could only mean one thing.

“I’m afraid my father has fallen into a deep sleep,” Loki finished Asha’s thought for her, a hand over his heart. “And with Thor on Midgard, I will be reigning in his stead. Whatever your urgent matter is,  _ I, the king of Asgard,  _ would be happy to help.”

The five of them knelt to the floor, obligated to bow before their ruler, despite how reluctant they were to do so. The warriors three exchanged nervous glances, not having expected to see the second prince when they came into the throne room. Asha, however, kept her eyes trained to the floor. She wasn’t surprised - after all, she had a feeling this would happen. Still, that didn’t mean she wasn’t furious about it.

“Well,  _ your majesty,”  _ Sif sneered. “We had hoped you would take Thor’s banishment into consideration-”

“Oh, no,” Loki replied, standing from the throne to loom over the five of them. “My first order as king cannot be to undo the Allfather’s last.”

Volstagg spoke then, “Your majesty, I’m sure you could do  _ something  _ for our friend-”

“My verdict is final,  _ friends.  _ Now, if you have nothing left to ask, please take your leave.”

The warriors scrambled up from the floor, more than happy to retreat. Except, maybe, for Sif, who glared at Loki as she went.

Asha turned to go as well, but Loki stopped her. 

“Asha, you stay.”

She sighed through her nose and turned back to the departing warriors three. Sif was looking between her and Loki, fear clear on her face. Asha gave her a reassuring smile, waving her off to join the group.  _ I’ll be fine, don’t worry. _

“Your majesty?” Asha addressed Loki, arms crossed to keep her anger in check.

“Well, what do you think?” He dropped the act he’d been going for before, letting a real smirk take over his face. He stood from the throne and gestured lazily around him. 

“What do I think of what?”

“Of my crowning, of course! I do say I look rather good on a throne,” Loki grinned wide, stepping down from the dais to be level with Asha. 

Asha held her ground, giving him what she hoped was her most unimpressed look. “Loki, the warriors three suspect  _ you  _ of bringing in those frost giants on the day of Thor’s coronation.” Best to get straight to the point.

She already knew the answer. She already knew what he’d done. And she knew that he’d lie to her about it regardless.

This time, he surprised her. “Dear friend,” he reached out, taking one of her hands from her stiffly crossed arms and holding it between his hands. “Please understand, I did not expect Thor to go barging straight into Jotunheim at the first chance. I really only meant to delay the ceremony a bit.”

She gaped at him. Well, this was certainly different. Before, he was rarely so forthcoming. 

Loki mistook her shock for anger and rushed to explain himself. “It was supposed to just be a harmless bit of fun, really! I only let in a select few who were doomed to fail - just so father could understand how unprepared Thor really is to take the crown. You were injured, but that wasn’t part of the plan. You weren’t supposed to be in there. The moment I saw you heading to the vaults, I knew I had to step in and ensure your safety.”

_ Ah, so that’s why he showed up.  _

“And you think that this, all of this,” she gestured to the throne. “Will win over Odin’s approval? Will make him see you as a fit ruler? When he finds out what you’ve done, he won’t be pleased.”

Loki’s eyes turned hard, the smirk slipping away. “He isn’t  _ going  _ to find out. And what makes you so sure he won’t see me fit to rule? Do you, just like everyone else, think I’m ill-suited? That I’m second to my brother?” He spat the words, voice rising as he spoke.

“You know I don’t feel that way,” Asha sighed, rubbing her temples. “All I’m saying is that  _ Odin-” _

“Enough,” Loki snapped, turning back to sit on the throne. “Leave me. I thought I could confide in you at least, but it seems I was wrong.”

The words stung more than they should have; after all that had happened Asha thought she’d be over these childish feelings. Even so, she felt her face heat, tears pooling in her eyes. 

His mind was made up, and there was no stopping him now. She’d tried her best. All that was left now was to figure out a way to fix his mess before it was too late.

\----

Asha sat at her desk, three books open in front of her. She rubbed her head with one hand, the other scribbling notes in a journal as she read. It was late, and she wanted nothing more than to land face-first into bed and sleep for days, but she needed to remain focused on the task at hand.

The sound of the bifrost firing in the distance made her flinch and drop the quill she’d been holding. Normally, the sound of the gateway opening would be no cause for alarm, but this was no ordinary portal she heard.

She whipped out the pendant secured in her blouse and flicked open the face to examine the clock.  _ He’s more than four hours early. What in the hel- _

She scrambled out of her chair, rushing to the window of her room. Outside, the dark, sleeping city was now fully illuminated by the light of the bifrost. It’s beacon stretched out into the cosmos, pulsing with power.

“Shit,” Asha hissed, turning to run from the room. She just barely managed to slip on a pair of boots before she ascended down the hallway. She had known this was a possibility - that Loki would try to destroy Jotunheim despite her warning, but it shouldn’t have happened this early. Something must have come up.

She made it to the palace stables in record time, wheezing from the exertion. She mounted her horse, startling it from the sudden action. She patted his mane to soothe him before guiding him into a trot in the direction of the bifrost. “Sorry, old friend. We have an idiot king to wrangle,” she murmured.

As she turned to leave, she noticed not only Loki’s horse missing but also Thor’s. Was he really back already? That would certainly explain Loki’s hasty decision-making skills.

Once on the main roads, she stirred the horse into a full-blown sprint. This late at night, she didn’t have to worry much about knocking anybody down, after all. 

Above her, a flash of white briefly illuminated the sky. The bifrost was gaining power, and would only continue to do so unless she got there quickly.

A mere twenty minutes later, she met the bifrost. Up ahead, she could make out two figures fighting on the bridge and she picked up speed. They were too far though, and she knew it. There was no way she would make it in time. 

A sudden stroke of lightning illuminated the path ahead. The force of it, so close to her, knocked Asha off the saddle and sent her skidding across the bridge. She stopped just shy of the crystal ledge, her left side dangling off and over the abyss below. 

She scrambled to right herself, both the physical blow and the reality of her near-death situation causing her to breathe in strangled gasps. She looked around for her horse, but the lightning had evidently scared him off and he’d gone back running the way they’d come in.  _ That’s just great,  _ Asha groaned. 

She stood and looked back towards the gateway, where Odin was now sitting atop his horse, arm outstretched.

Asha jogged the rest of the way for a closer look, but stopped in her tracks once she reached them. Her eyes followed the line of Odin’s arm... down his spear, which Thor was grasping to keep from falling… and Thor was holding onto…

“Loki!” Asha screamed from behind them, charging towards the ledge where he hung.  _ No, no, no, no- _

He didn’t seem to hear her, his eyes trained on his father’s. “I could have done it!” She heard him say. 

Odin’s reply was lost on Asha, the blood rushing through her ears making it impossible to hear anything else. 

In the next moment, Loki was falling.

\---

Asha sat in the library, avoiding sitting in her usual place at the heart of the room and instead tucking herself into one of the far corners with her books.

_ Ancient Asgardian Magick  _ sat open in her lap, but her eyes were glazed over and unseeing. The image of Loki falling from the bridge was running on a never-ending loop in her brain.

No matter how many times she did this, she would never get over seeing that. 

She really thought she had a chance this time. She really felt like her warnings stuck. What happened? Where did she go wrong?

Was there really no end to this?

A pair of heavy footsteps threaded through the library. “Asha?” Thor called, only a few bookshelves away. “Are you here?”

She shrank back into the shadows and squeezed her eyes shut.  _ Please, not now. _

“Asha,” Thor breathed, spotting her as he rounded the corner. He approached her carefully, as if not to startle her, and crouched beside her. “I thought I’d find you here.”

She opened her eyes to look at him, his own blue eyes conveying more kindness and understanding than she felt she deserved right then. He reached forward to take her hand in his, slowly finding the right words. 

“You and Loki were very close,” he said, rubbing a thumb across her knuckles. She nodded. “He would not want to see you this way. Please, join us for dinner? It’s been weeks. Our adventures aren’t nearly the same without your banter.” He smiled wide, but she couldn’t bring herself to mirror it.

“Loki isn’t  _ dead _ .” Asha had meant to state it as a simple fact, but her throat was thick with unshed tears, making her voice break. “He’s not, but you’re all acting like he is.” 

Thor’s smile faded, his eyebrows drawing in concern. “Asha, you watched him fall, the same as I. I understand that this is difficult for you.”

_ No, you don’t.  _ A crushing sense of dread and loneliness hit her, not for the first time.  _ You don’t understand what I feel at all.  _

Her tears were not for Loki’s death (although watching him fall from that ledge had fueled her nightmares even further). She grieved the fact that Thanos would find him before death could. She grieved, knowing the suffering he would soon undertake.

She grieved, knowing her home was only that much closer to its demise. And she still had done nothing yet to stop it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might take longer to get up - I've got a busy weekend coming up. I will do my best to upload soon, though.
> 
> Thanks!


	4. Mischief on Midgard

_ Twelve jars of burn ointment… thirty-seven bottles of Valerian-Kava mixture… an eye of Draugar… _

Asha took stock of her inventory silently, eyes flitting over rows of bottles and potions and bags. She pulled the drawstrings open on a burlap sack near her.  _ Only three bundles of Symphytum roots… I should probably gather more of those. _

She sighed and jotted the thought down in her new journal. Exhaustion was truly eating at her, as she continued her work deep into the night. She glanced over to her bed, suddenly struck with the realization that it had been months since she’d had more than a few hours of sleep at a time.

Loki hadn’t returned yet. A month after his fall, Asha pushed herself to continue her work, despite the hopelessness she was beginning to feel. Over the next half-year, the bathroom of her chambers had become a makeshift greenhouse and storage room for her herbs and potions. The servants of the palace had given her strange looks for it on more than one occasion, but knew better than to ask about her strange antics at this point. 

In less than a year, the convergence would be upon them, and the soldiers of Asgard would need all the help they could get.

A sharp knock on the door made Asha jolt, but she ignored it as she continued counting her bottles.  _ 26… 27… 28… 29. _

The knock came again, more urgent this time. 

_ 20... 29? 28? Dammit. _

Asha huffed and set the journal down amidst the mess of greenery. She strode out of the bathroom and yanked open the door to her chambers, fully intent on scolding whoever thought this would be a reasonable hour to disturb her. When she met the wild, wide blue eyes of Thor, the words died on her tongue.

“Loki is alive,” Thor said, breathing strained. He must have run all the way here. “Heimdall has seen him on Midgard.”

\---

“You do not seem surprised,” Thor huffed, jogging alongside Asha to the throne room. 

She carried her skirts in one hand as she ran, not having bothered to change out of her nightgown. She glanced at Thor who was watching her closely now.

“I told you he wasn’t dead.”

“How did you know?” He pressed, eyes narrowing. 

“Call it instinct, I suppose.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but they had arrived at the throne room. His questions would have to wait. They entered the room, heads bowed and right fist over their hearts. 

“Father,” Thor addressed Odin first, while Asha bent at the knee before the throne. “I’ve brought Lady Asha, as you requested.”

“Good. Asha, I assume Thor has informed you of the situation?”

Asha lifted her head. “Yes, your majesty. Prince Loki lives on.”

He nodded. “Heimdall saw Loki on Midgard only yesterday and already he has killed many of the mortals there.” Asha cringed. “I believe he plans on seizing power over their planet. I will send Thor to stop him, by any means necessary.”

“Your majesty, why have you called me here?”

Odin heaved a sigh, meeting her eyes. “I require something of you. I am reluctant to turn to such distasteful measures, but with the bifrost in its current state… I don’t think we have much choice.”

“Your majesty?” She was growing impatient. If he didn’t get to the point sooner, she feared she might snap.

“Your sorcery is nearly unparalleled in Asgard’s court. You will assist Queen Frigga in sending Thor to Midgard, by means of dark magic.”

If not for their current setting, Asha would have snorted. She would never understand such aversion to dark magic - to her, it was simply another field of study, another way to practice the same art. Still, though, she reverently bowed her head in assent. 

“You are dismissed, then. You will be granted twenty-four hours to prepare.”

\---

Asha was  _ tired.  _ All the potions in the world couldn’t change that fact, and she sat on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. She was to report to the south wing study tomorrow to send Thor off. She needed sleep  _ badly,  _ but no matter how long she laid here it wouldn’t seem to come. 

She knew she was too wound up. Any day now, she’d snap. The pressure was mounting, suffocating her the second she was left alone with her thoughts. 

This timeline was going horribly wrong. Nothing was going according to plan. The peace treaty with Jotunheim was ruined, Loki discovered his true lineage, and now had fallen straight into Thanos’ hands. Everything she had done had been all for naught. 

There  _ had  _ to be a way to save Asgard. There  _ must  _ be. She just hadn’t figured it out yet. Still, no matter how hard she pushed and searched and  _ screamed,  _ she couldn’t get the pieces to fit into place. 

Blinking away tears, she stood and reached for a robe to throw on. She shoved her feet into her boots and trod out into the winding corridors, all the way down to the palace gardens. 

_ What good can you do, anyway? Even if you do find a way to fix everything, you’re just another stupid village girl. You don’t belong here. This is not your home to save.  _

Asha shook away those thoughts as she walked, choosing instead to inspect the newly blossoming flowers than focus on her spiraling thoughts. Spring was approaching.

She bent low to examine a stretch of ground cover. The rich, green leaves spiraled and crawled like ivy, adorned by honey-yellow buds. Another thought - a memory - managed to push its way into her focus. It was springtime then, too, and she laid out in the new sun to bask in its warmth. A pair of strong arms perched themselves over her, a head casting a shadow over her face and blocking out the sun. Loki placed a delicate yellow bud behind her ear, letting his fingertips linger just a little too long on her cheek…

Asha shook away that thought as well, gritting her teeth in an effort not to cry. She couldn’t afford to think of such things now, not with everything she had on the line. 

“Can’t sleep?”

Asha gasped, springing up from her crouched position and whirling around to meet the speaker.

Thor chuckled. “Apologies, Asha, I did not realize it was possible to sneak up on you.”

She sighed, putting a hand over her racing heart. “That was my fault, I was lost in thought. And what of yourself? You have a big day tomorrow, you know.”

He hummed, looking towards the stars. “Odin’s defense council ran late. My thoughts are racing too much for sleep yet, I think.”

He held out an elbow and Asha took it - though, not before rolling her eyes at his deeply instilled chivalry. Together they walked the stone paths through the gardens, silent for a time as each mulled over their own thoughts. 

“I fear, Lady Asha, that my brother may be too far gone this time.” Thor blew out a long breath, not meeting her eyes. “He is not the same person he once was. I never dreamed he would do something this destructive.”

“I agree,” she said, startling Thor enough to snap his gaze to hers. “Thor, when you find him, I need you to promise me something.”

“Of course.”

She drew a shaky breath, averting her gaze this time. “Kill him.”

“Asha?” Thor withdrew his arm and stopped to stare at her. “What do you mean? I thought that you cared for him-”

“I do! I do care for him. But…” She groaned, looking to the stars.  _ Why is this so hard?  _ “When you find him, if you believe he is incapable of redemption… you must stop him in whatever way you can.”

“Asha, he is my brother. What you are asking of me… I don’t know if I can.”

“You must,” she said, finally meeting his eyes. “What he has done on Midgard today is only a fraction of what he is capable of. He could tear that realm apart.” 

Thor watched her, drinking in her words. He pulled a deep sigh, squeezing his eyes closed.

“You have my word.”

\---

Mjolnir in one hand, Odin’s ravens on either shoulder, Thor stood ready at the center of the palace study. The king himself had decided to come to send him off, which did not aid Asha’s growing anxiety.

Her hands shook as she cast the circle under his feet - a ring of red chalk no larger than a desk. She stood, brushed the dust off her fingertips and nodded to the queen standing across from her. In tandem, they raised their arms and began the incantation. 

_ I sure hope this works,  _ Asha sent a silent prayer during the spell. At one time, she was quite skilled with dark magic, but as of late her powers were in increasing demand. She could feel her inner stores draining faster every day. She’d send him  _ somewhere,  _ but she could only hope it would be Midgard and not some distant star.

Still, though, she took comfort in the Allmother’s presence. Her own golden seidr practically filled the room, warming every crevice it touched. If Asha could not perform her part, she knew Frigga could certainly pick up the slack. 

All at once, Thor was gone in a plume of black smoke. Frigga breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as she crossed the room to meet Asha. 

“It has been quite some time since I’ve had use for such a spell. I thank you for your presence, Lady Asha.”

A little star-struck, Asha stumbled into a curtsey. “Thank you, my queen, but I was simply here for support. Your seidr is second to none.”

“Oh! No need to be so bashful! Come now, you must be starving after such a feat,” Frigga began directing Asha to the door, but Odin called their attention.

“I must speak with Asha, Frigga.”

A look of confusion passed over her face. “Whatever the matter is, I’m sure it can wait. Such spells are quite draining.”

“It will only take a minute. Afterward, she may join you in the court.”

Frigga frowned and patted Asha’s hands, still clasped in hers. “Well, I suppose for just a minute. Do meet me for tea later, though, Lady Asha.”

Asha nodded, still too stunned by such a prospect to find her tongue. 

After the door shut behind the queen, she returned her attention to the king with a dip of her head. “Your majesty?”

Odin did not answer her right away. He stood from his seat and paced the room to the large windows overlooking the training grounds.  _ He does so enjoy taking his time with these things, doesn’t he? _

Finally, he spoke. “Asha, I hear that you and my son were quite close.”

“Oh, yes, I accompany Thor and the warriors three on many of their hunts.”

“Not Thor, Loki. Before he fell, the two of you were close friends, if I am not mistaken.”

_ Oh.  _ Asha nodded, allowing him to continue. “Tell me, what do you know of his plans? What has he told you?”

His stare was colder now, more guarded. Asha was quickly realizing that he had effectively locked her into an interrogation. And he was almost as skilled at parsing out lies as his son. 

She swallowed. “I know nothing, Allfather. He made no mention of any plans for Midgard before his fall from the bifrost.” Well, that at least was true. “Although, if he’s half as clever as everyone says he is, he will likely seek out the Chitauri for assistance.”

“The Chitauri?” 

“An advanced race of warriors and shapeshifters, living out in the deepest corners of space. They are ruthless, and have no qualms with a little destruction from what I hear.”

Odin smiled, though the mirth did not reach his eyes. “That sounds highly specific, Asha.”

_ Shit. _

“I have studied the nine realms extensively, my king. I am simply deducing what Loki’s next action would be.”

He scoffed and turned back to overlook the training grounds. “If what you say is true, then not only are you intelligent but impossibly so. There are hundreds of warrior races across the realms, why would he choose the Chitauri?”

Maybe she could get away with just a  _ little _ lie. “The Chitauri are always searching the galaxies for more cities to burn. I would not at all be surprised if they were the ones who found Loki drifting through space when he fell. Not only is it probable, but it is one of the few scenarios he could have survived.”

It wasn’t  _ entirely  _ untrue. Thanos was the one to find Loki, but the Chitauri were working for Thanos. It’s practically the same thing.

Evidently, Odin bought her act. “Well, if you’re right, I appreciate this warning. These Chitauri, what destruction are they capable of exactly?”

That was a question Asha wasn’t sure she wanted to answer. She leveled the king with a sober stare. 

“If the Chitauri army invades Midgard, they will tear that planet apart.”

  
  
  
  
  



	5. Loki Returns

Loki did not look well.

Thor led him through the throne room, flanked by at least a dozen guards, all with their weapons pointed at the younger prince. His manacles scraped along the floor as he walked, filling the otherwise silent room with a soft clanging. His face was bruised, cheeks hollow. His usual sleek hair was slightly awry. Still, his eyes were bright and darted around the throne room as he approached the king.

It had taken Thor no more than a week to return from Midgard, Loki trailing behind him muzzled and bound. Asha was the one to pull them back to the realm eternal with dark magic, although she wasn’t very happy to do it.

In fact, she was fucking furious. 

They appeared in the study where Thor had left, Loki half-conscious and Thor looking no better. As the guards secured the prisoner, Asha pulled Thor aside. 

“ _ You promised!”  _ She hissed once under the shadow of a column. 

Thor sighed, letting his weight slouch forward. He was tired. Evidence of the battle on Midgard marred his body. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. Pleading. “Asha, you know I am a man of my word. I promised to kill him if he was too far gone, but he is not. He deserves a fair trial here, the same as everyone else.”

Asha scoffed. “You promised Odin you’d bring him back, didn’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say I  _ promised,  _ necessarily-”

Asha groaned, turning to stomp back down the hall but Thor stopped her with a hand on her arm. 

“Asha, this is for the best. He’s under the watch of Asgard’s most elite warriors, he will not harm anyone else.”

She watched him now as he pleaded his case to the Allfather (although she was sure most trials didn’t involve quite so much sass from the guilty party). She tucked herself further behind Frigga’s handmaids - she wasn’t supposed to be here, but the Allmother had let her slip in with a knowing look in her eyes. 

“You will spend the rest of your days in Asgard’s dungeons,” Odin declared his sentence, rapping his spear against the floor. 

Loki didn’t bother objecting, but his eyes were full of fire as he watched the Allfather. Then, just before turning to leave, his eyes swept over to meet Asha’s. 

There was fire there for her, too. Maybe even hatred. Asha couldn’t help shrinking under the weight of it, the intensity catching her off guard. 

Their staring match felt like an eternity, but could only have been a few seconds before he was tugged along by the guards in attendance and led out of the throne room. 

_ What the hel was that?  _ Asha felt panic bubbling up inside her. She’d never had much reason to  _ fear _ Loki before, but his entire demeanor was different now. 

A hand on Asha’s shoulder made her flinch. “I’m sorry, dear,” the Allmother spoke softly behind her. “I really did try to lessen his sentence.”

Asha almost laughed but held her tongue. If only Frigga knew of the conversation she’d had with Thor. If only she knew the danger he now posed to Asgard, despite being locked in a cell. 

Instead, Asha played into her sympathy, even if deceiving her felt like swallowing glass. She hunched forward, head in her hands. “I-I don’t know what happened to him… I don’t understand why he’d do such a thing.” 

Frigga cringed when Asha’s voice cracked and she wrapped her up in a hug. “Oh, Asha. I wish I knew. I’m sure he will come to understand his actions during his isolation.”

“You think so?” Asha sniffed, meeting her eyes. “Is there… is there any chance I might visit him?”

“Perhaps,” Frigga smiled. She pulled away, and Asha realized the court had emptied aside from a few handmaids. 

“I should go. You will let me know how he’s doing?”

“Of course,” the Allmother smiled and waved her off. 

Asha strode out of the throne room, doing her best to look dejected. Once out of sight, she pulled her pendant from her corset. 

She had some work to do. 

\---

For weeks after that, Asha waited and watched. 

She sat in her usual place in the library every morning. At the beginning of the week, Frigga’s maid would come to collect a sizable pile of books to take with her. Eventually, Asha worked out the exact day and time she usually arrived for the stash of books.

The books certainly couldn’t be for the queen. It was well-known that Frigga had her own personal study filled to the brim with books on the other end of the palace. It was not uncommon for her to send someone for a book from the palace library once in a while, but this many was unusual. Not to mention, the servant girl seemed to be grabbing them at random without paying any mind to what they were. 

That left one other person they could be for. 

The following week, Asha arrived a little bit later, just in time to stop the servant on her way out the library doors. The girl stumbled into a bow, almost dropping the pile of books in her arms. 

“I didn’t see you there, my lady.”

“It’s alright. I was just looking for you, though. The queen has asked that I take those books to the prince this morning.”

“Oh? She did?” The young girl stared up at her with wide eyes. “Have I done something wrong?”

Asha shook her head. “Oh, no. The queen says you’ve been working very hard lately and that you should take the morning off. I don’t mind bringing them to him in your stead.”

“Oh, thank you!” she gushed, practically shoving the stack into Asha’s arms. “How kind of the queen!”

Asha smirked. “Yes, she’s quite generous isn’t she?”

The maid nodded enthusiastically before taking off, leaving Asha alone with the stack. 

_ That was much easier than I thought it’d be,  _ she huffed and shifted the weight in her arms and made for the dungeons. She’d have to stick to the lesser-used corridors to avoid being seen, which would make her trip even longer. 

Asha  _ could  _ have just dropped by the dungeons regardless. She didn’t really need a reason to visit Loki. However, with how suspicious Odin was of her before, she figured having an excuse to be there might help her case. 

She eventually arrived at the dungeons, passing the guards with a polite nod. When she turned to find Loki’s cell, she was surprised to find him already watching her from the nearest one. 

Asha approached him, refusing to look rattled. “I’ve brought these for you,” she said, meeting his eyes.

“Are you sure you weren’t just missing my company?”

She rolled her eyes, and his smirk grew. “Well, I suppose we should talk.”

Loki gestured to the glowing, golden forcefield keeping him penned. “It might be easier without this cell separating us, don’t you think? I’m sure this wall would be a cinch for you.”

“No need,” Asha said and closed her eyes. She focused her energy inwards, drawing her power to her core. All other senses dimmed as she pulled tighter, tighter, tighter. 

In the next moment, she could feel the cold, sterile stone of the cell floor beneath her feet. Her body felt like it was coming together in pieces, leaving her shaky and jolted. 

Once she’d collected herself enough, she shoved the books onto a nearby desk and collapsed onto the bed.

Loki hummed, watching her from a nearby chair. “Teleportation? Impressive. Although, it’d probably be more impressive if you didn’t look about ready to be sick.”

“Quiet,” Asha grumbled, straightening and leaning her weight against the wall. “M’ magic’s been on pretty short supply.”

“Oh?” He scooted closer. “And why would that be?”

She shot him a glare. “Believe it or not, dragging your ass back to Asgard without the bifrost wasn’t easy.”

His smirk grew. “Oh, I knew it! Tell me, how much dark magic did it take to bring me back? Did it just  _ rankle  _ Odin to stoop to such measures?”

Despite how upset she was with him, Asha couldn’t help smiling back. “It did. You should have seen the way he looked when he asked for my help.”

Loki threw his head back in laughter, looking a little brighter than he had since being dragged in here. It almost made Asha regret having to ruin the mood. 

Almost.

She schooled her expression. “You’re still upset with him, aren’t you?”

Loki sobered immediately. “Shouldn’t I be? He lied to me, Asha. He - he was using me all along.”

She sighed, running a hand through her curls. 

“You weren’t supposed to discover the truth of your parentage. I tried to stop it.”

His eyes blew wide, shock written clear as day on his usually guarded face. “You  _ knew!”  _ he cried, red creeping up his neck from his rage. “You knew and you didn’t think to tell me? Do I truly mean that little to you?”

She flinched back as he shouted. She could feel her own anger bubbling up, but she stamped it down. “Loki, of course that’s not-”

“Oh no, I get it now,” He interjected. “That’s why you’ve been so cozy with my brother lately, isn’t it? You couldn’t stand to be so close to me, a monster?”

Asha hadn’t been prepared for  _ that _ accusation.  _ Is that why he was acting so hostile in the throne room? _

“Loki!” She cried, and he snapped his jaw shut. “You think I wanted this?” She clenched her fists at her sides. “I  _ tried  _ to tell you. I tried to tell you about everything! You never listen. When I warned you of Thanos, you - you called me a  _ conspirator! _ ”

“And what good was your warning anyway?” he spat back, standing to tower over her in the cramped cell. “I didn’t have a choice. I fell right into his hands and there was nothing I could do-”

“There had to be something!” Her voice was steadily rising, drawing the attention of the other prisoners in the hallway. “You’re always talking your way out of everything - you couldn’t do the same then?”

Her words must have struck a nerve. He gaped at her, face flush with anger and chest rising and falling rapidly. He balled his fists as if holding himself back from striking her. “You have…  _ no right.  _ You have no idea the things I’ve gone through in the last year-”

“I do,” she cut him off, voice surprisingly calm for how unnerved she felt. “I do know, Loki. I’ve seen it all before.”

He stared at her, the cogs turning in his mind, pieces falling into place. “What sort of games are you playing, witch?”

The way he spat her nickname, the one he had used so affectionately on her in the past, made Asha flinch. “You don’t need to know,” she ground out. “You’ve royally fucked up whatever plans I had working, anyways.”

Without warning, he was grabbing her by the hair, forcing his palm against her forehead. It only took her a moment to realize what he was trying to do and she recoiled hard. His grip was strong, though, and she cried out as he yanked her hair. The next moment, she could feel his gentle push in her mind, working his way to her memories. The effect was dizzying and she slowly stopped her struggling altogether.

He jerked away a moment later, staring at her as if she’d burned him. 

As if she were the one who had just pulled  _ his  _ hair. 

“What did you see?” She asked, her voice hesitant and shaking. She wasn’t sure that she really wanted to know.

“Not what I was expecting,” he breathed, seeming at a loss for words. He sank back down in his chair. “You… and me. You were - we were in my chambers, in my bed. We were talking and kissing… and then…” he trailed off, cheeks flushing a vibrant red. “Although I was there, I don’t - I don’t have any memory of that.” He turned to her, demeanor changing as anger flashed in his eyes. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Nothing more than a dream I had,” Asha answered quickly.

“Lying. Try again.”

She huffed, shifting uncomfortably. “A vision, then.”

“Lying,  _ again.  _ Out with the truth, now. I am not in a patient mood.” 

“Another time!” She snapped, angry now that the truth was being weaseled out of her. “It was another time, Loki.”

His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward suddenly. Asha flinched back. “I grow weary of your riddles, witch. I want to know everything.”

“I loved you.”

The words came out in a rush before Asha could stop them. She watched Loki’s expression morph to surprise - that clearly wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. He opened his mouth to respond, but she was faster. “I loved you, and I couldn’t bear to watch what happened to you. I just wanted to stop all of this,” she gestured to the cell. “I wanted to stop all of this from happening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the girls are fightinggggg


	6. The Before

Loki was far too good-looking and far too clever for his own good.

Asha had come to the conclusion after watching him for the better part of a month. He rarely deigned to speak to her, but they did occasionally meet eyes or bump into each other in the palace. 

She assumed she’d be seeing more of the second prince during her apprenticeship with the queen mother herself, as he was known for his affinity for magic, but they rarely practiced together. According to the queen, a quiet room was best for beginners. 

But, that was alright with Asha. He was handsome, sure, but she wasn’t here to court a prince. It wasn’t as if she had any standing to do so, anyways. She came from the south coast of Asgard - a remote fishing village only housing a dozen or so families. She grew up by the sea, tasting the salted air and soaking up sunshine as she worked alongside her brothers to pull in the nets. 

The royal palace of Asgard was a far cry from the shore she called home. The rooms and halls always felt stuffy, suffocating. The smooth marble and plated gold architecture was a stark contrast to the wood and rock her village was constructed from. 

When she was fitted for a gown by the palace tailors, they balked when she told them she’d never worn a corset before. 

The next grievance was her posture. The handmaid assigned to her, a stern elderly woman, had rapped her knuckles with a rod for slouching in her seat. And then it was the way she spoke. Asha often forgot formal titles, and apparently the drawl she spoke with was outright  _ distasteful  _ \- according to her handmaid. That one had baffled Asha. How was she supposed to speak contrary to how she had her entire life? She didn’t have a drawl, she thought. If anything, it was the palace royals who talked in a strange way, so  _ posh.  _

And then it was her smell. 

A few weeks after her apprenticeship began, Asha was invited to tea with the other girls her age in the court. The queen would be attending as well, and Asha dressed to impress. By then, she was used to the constant scolding from her handmaid, and she walked with a practiced elegance to the west lounge. The accent would be more difficult, but she could manage to play the part of a lady for just a few hours if she kept quiet most of the time. 

When Asha seated herself at the small table, a few girls next to her immediately shuffled away and began whispering amongst themselves. Asha tried not to be hurt, and instead focused on sitting up straighter. She tried to reassure herself that it probably didn’t have anything to do with her, but then she caught the tail end of their conversation.

_ “-smells like the sea!” _

_ “Does she even bathe?” _

_ “Why did the queen invite some village witch to the court?” _

_ “Careful not to touch her!” _

Her teacup shattered against the marble floor as she scrambled away from her spot at the table and made a beeline for the doors. She would no doubt be scolded for leaving the queen’s luncheon before it had even begun, but she needed to get out of there. Peals of laughter followed her down the hall and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. 

It would continue like that for months. Asha soon learned to ignore the rumors and whispers that followed her like a shadow. The queen herself had reached out to invite Asha to stay in this palace. She’d gotten this apprenticeship by her own merit and skill, and she was going to make full use of it - reputation be damned. 

Because, at the end of the day, she was  _ good  _ at magic. 

All of Frigga’s lessons came naturally to her, and the queen praised her accordingly. The lessons became her favorite part of the week, the only days she looked forward to during her stay at the palace. When she wrote home to her family, those were the days she described in full. She decidedly left out the rumors and the abuse and the homesickness.

That is, they  _ were  _ her favorite part of the week.

One morning, when she arrived at the study at their usual meeting time, the queen had a guest. Prince Loki stood beside her, in all his regal glory, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Asha nearly tripped. She greeted the queen with a bow, hoping to appear more casual than she felt. So far, no one knew of her little crush on the prince, and she didn’t intend to give anyone more ammunition to tease her with. 

“You’ve come quite far in your studies, much farther than I was anticipating in such a short time. From now on, Loki will be joining our lessons to give you someone to practice with.” The queen told her, a hand rested on her son’s shoulder. Loki was content to inspect his fingernails, but after a shove from his mother, extended his hand out to take Asha’s.

“A pleasure to meet you,” he said. 

Asha managed to stutter out an acceptable greeting and the lesson proceeded. 

It was clear right away that while Asha was progressing very quickly, she had nothing on Loki. This created a problem. Not that he was better than her with magic, just that… he  _ knew  _ he was better than her with magic.

He took every opportunity afforded him to show off. During the first lesson, he turned Asha’s hair green and only agreed to change it back after some choice words from his mother. The next lesson, he sealed her lips shut so she could not speak for the whole day. The next lesson, he cursed her to sneeze uncontrollably.

Pretty soon, she felt like she was more practiced in undoing curses than anything else. 

In only a few weeks, Asha had had enough. Things were already shitty outside of her lessons, and she wouldn’t let some brat ruin this single slice of happiness, prince or not. 

The next time she saw him for their magic lessons, she had a plan. She wasn’t sure if it would work - but it was certainly worth a try.

Frigga instructed Loki to produce a flame, which Loki did with practiced ease. As he was coaxing it into a more tangible form, Asha focused her own magic on a point between his eyes. 

If she could just push her energy into his own for a moment, she could ruin his spell. She gathered all the seidr she could and focused on channeling it to his mind. 

It was possibly the most difficult thing she’d done yet. A bead of sweat rolled down her neck as she pushed further. 

Suddenly, Loki gasped and his flame withered away. He looked around, confused, before his eyes landed on Asha’s triumphant grin. 

_ “Hey!”  _ He cried, grabbing his head. 

“What happened?” The queen pulled her attention away from the book she’d been studying. 

“She- She  _ hexed  _ me! She ruined my flame!” 

Asha had never seen the prince quite so flustered. He was normally so cool and collected, she almost laughed at his shrill tone. 

“I did no such thing.”

The queen gave her a pointed look and she sighed. “Fine. But it wasn’t a hex, I just pushed into your mind a little bit.”

Frigga was impressed. Apparently, such a feat was practically unheard of for someone so novice - and that only made Loki angrier. 

Asha didn’t know it then, but her actions would set off an unspoken war between herself and the prince. The next week, he turned himself into a cat to startle her when she picked him up. The week after that, she gave him tree bark charmed to look like bread. Then he hid all her belongings. Then she changed the green of his tunic into red. And so on and so forth for months. She paid less attention to her lessons and more on figuring out how to out-smart the prince with her magic.

Frigga didn’t do anything to stop the two - other than a few pointed glares or scoldings. If anything, she seemed almost amused by the whole thing. 

Asha wasn’t sure why the queen was so lenient on punishing her until one afternoon lesson. Loki was off on a trip with the elder prince Thor (a reprieve Asha was grateful for), and she worked up the courage to ask the queen about it. 

“I think the games the two of you play are a good test of your skills,” she told her. Her smile slipped away slightly, though. She sighed. “Truthfully, though, my son does not have much luck making friends. I am glad that he has you.”

Her words made Asha’s heart ache for Loki. That was something she hadn’t considered. Still, though, she couldn’t bring herself to stop her pranks on the prince. He was still an asshole to her. 

And, if she was being completely honest, it was kind of  _ fun _ . And she was fairly certain he felt the same way.

  
  
  


After years spent in the palace, Asha thought the whispers from the other ladies of the court would have run out. Unfortunately, she underestimated the staying power of such pettiness. She sat in the lounge one morning, trying desperately to ignore the giggling behind her as she conversed with the queen.

She went to sip her tea, only to gag when she found her sugar had been swapped out for salt. The giggling turned into outright laughter, loud and mocking. Asha slammed her teacup down and stood from her spot, her face growing hot with embarrassment. 

“If you’ll excuse me,” was all she could make out before she ran for the doors. By now, she was used to ignoring the other girls in the court, but she hadn’t been prepared for something so  _ direct.  _ Clearly they were growing tired of her indifference. 

When the angry haze lifted, Asha found herself in the gardens. The fresh air filled her lungs and she calmed enough to uncurl her fists. Spring was quickly approaching and the garden was vibrant with new life. She took her time examining the new flower buds, allowing the gentle scent of the earth to erase her frustration.

Once the anger fizzled away though, she was left with the sadness. She felt her carefully crafted walls beginning to crack. A tear slipped down her cheek. And then two. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up with this. 

“Walking the grounds without an escort? That maid of yours would be scandalized.” Loki’s voice from behind her made her jump and she hurried to scrub away the tears on her cheeks.  _ Great, the last person I wanted to see right now. _

“I just needed some air is all,” she replied, cursing herself when her voice cracked.

Loki’s hand was on her arm in an instant, turning her to face him. His eyes darted over her tear-streaked face, a thumb coming up to rub her cheek as if on instinct. “What happened? Who did this to you?”

“It’s nothing,” Asha pushed away from him, her face flushing for a whole  _ new  _ reason now. 

“You’re a terrible liar. Come, sit with me,” Loki tugged her along to a more secluded part of the garden veiled by trees. They sat on the few patches of grass there - most of the space had been taken over by some thick, dark green ground cover dotted with yellow flowers. 

Asha pulled her knees to her chest, arms draped around herself. “The ladies of the court do not seem to care for me.”

“The ladies my mother surrounds herself with seem only to care for themselves. I would not take it too personally,” Loki answered simply, absently plucking at the ivy leaves. 

“You don’t understand,” her voice broke again and she turned to hide her face in her knees. “They mock me at every opportunity. They call me a witch.”

Loki snorted. “There’s no reason to take offense to that. My mother - the queen - she was raised a witch, you know.”

Asha picked her head up. “Really? Queen Frigga?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, a different queen who happens to be my mother. Yes, Frigga. There’s no reason for you to be ashamed by something like that.”

When she still wasn’t quite convinced, he took her hand in his. “Asha, you’re very talented. Besides my mother, I’d say you’re the best witch in the palace. Those other girls are just jealous.”

Asha felt her cheeks heat again. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why are you being so sweet? This isn’t another game of yours, is it?”

He placed a hand over his heart in mock sincerity, “Me? Playing tricks? I wouldn’t dream of it.” That managed to make her laugh, and Loki smiled along with her. “Really, though, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of the palace rumor mill, I can understand your feelings. Plus-” he smirked, “I’m the only one who’s allowed to frustrate you.”

She smacked his arm and he laughed. The sound caught her off guard and she felt herself freeze. He’d been more open with her lately, but this type of friendly conversation was new. 

They laid in the grass like that for hours talking, neither one of them paying much mind to the darkening sky. Loki sat up again when the temperature began to drop, but only to secure his cape around Asha’s shoulders and - to her surprise - tuck a small yellow flower behind her ear.

  
  
  
  


After that, the two seemed to reach a mutual understanding of one another. The war between them waned (though, neither one seemed to be able to give up their pranks entirely) and they fell into a comfortable friendship. The magic lessons they shared were once again Asha’s cherished past time. 

After that day in the garden, Asha also found it increasingly difficult to ignore her attraction to the prince. It was easy to dismiss his good looks when he was being an asshole, but when he was charming and friendly, she found it to be much more challenging. 

So, it was a bittersweet relief to find that her apprenticeship would soon come to an end. Despite how much she cared for the prince and cherished their friendship - the only one she’d managed to make outside of her small village - she knew that saying goodbye would hurt less than watching him fall in love with someone else. They were at that age, after all, and Asha knew it wouldn’t be long before his father would see him married off. 

She wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle that. 

Loki was not so keen on her leaving. She tried to broach the subject carefully while in the library one day, and Loki nearly dropped the book he was taking from the shelf.

“What do you mean you’re going back?” He gave a nervous laugh. “You live here, in the palace. This is where you belong.”

She shook her head. “No, it isn’t. This was never supposed to be permanent… I leave for the coast in three days.”

“Three -  _ three days?”  _ He scoffed, shoving the book back roughly. “That won’t be nearly enough time for you to pack your things. You should stay til the end of the month, at least. Maybe this summer would be better-”

“Loki.” She cut him off with a sigh. “You won’t talk me out of this. I don’t want to go either, but you know just as well as I that this is not my home. The queen has taught me all she can for now, there is no reason to overstay my welcome.”

“Don’t go,” he replied quickly. “ _ I  _ could take you on as my apprentice! I’m sure I could teach you something else. At least until summer.”

She gave him a wry smile. “Loki, you know full well that we’re pretty evenly matched now. Besides, you have enough on your plate as it is, soon you won’t have time for some village witch anyway.”

“You know that’s not true,” he murmured, bringing her hand to his lips. “Please, Asha.”

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she tore her gaze from his. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

He hung his head, letting her knuckles brush his forehead. “Then I will walk you to the edge of the city in three day’s time. If this is truly what you want.”

“It’s what’s for the best.” 

  
  
  


The road home was a long and bitter one. For years, Asha wrote letters back to her family wishing for all the world that she could return to them and leave the palace of Asgard behind. Her homesickness was a constant plague that left her drained and miserable.

Since making friends with Loki, that had changed. 

She felt almost guilty, then, that she was regretting her choice to leave. She should be happy to see her parents and her brothers and tell them all about her adventure - and on some level, she was - but that excitement felt overshadowed by grief. 

_ This is for the best. _

Her eldest brother - a tall, stocky boy with long black hair and deep skin - spotted her approach first as he worked at the docks. He dropped the net he was holding back into the sea and ran to meet her, lifting her off her saddle to spin her around. 

Her two younger brothers - a pair of identical twins - came next when they heard the commotion. Soon, Asha was pulled into a giant hug, her siblings all firing off questions too quickly for her to answer any of them. 

“Slow down,” she laughed, freeing herself from their embraces. “I’ll answer your questions over dinner, yeah?”

Her mother nearly wept when she spotted her coming in the front door - but her father beat her to it. He pulled Asha close the second she crossed the threshold, tears spilling fast down his cheeks. “Tonight we drink!” he announced. “For the tide has brought  _ taku tamahine  _ back to us.” 

  
  


Asha thought it would be difficult to go back to her old life, but she found herself easing right back into her old patterns. She rose with the sun each morning and went down to the docks like clockwork, old muscle memory resurfacing as if it had never left. 

A few things were different. The landscape of her home was the same, though altered just slightly. Her father’s favorite antique - a glass serpent that usually sat on the mantelpiece - had broken during a storm. Asha’s best dress, a rich blue, layered garment made with real gold thread, had been sold during a particularly harsh winter that left the sea baren. The absence of it left her wardrobe muted in browns and cremes. She decorated her space with the tokens she’d acquired in the city over the years, but they felt foreign and out of place there in her old home. Like they didn’t quite belong there. 

Asha wasn’t sure she did either. She wasn’t sure  _ why  _ \- this was her home. This was familiar. But she knew something about her was changed and she didn’t belong there. 

_ This is for the best,  _ she told herself each morning.  _ This is for the best,  _ she told herself as she worked alongside her brothers. She tried to believe that. 

  
  
  


Years later, there was a letter. 

It was uncommon for her family to receive much mail besides the occasional supplies shipment, and even more uncommon for them to receive an envelope with the royal family’s crest. In fact, the last time had been more than a decade ago now, when Asha was invited to learn magic under the queen. 

So then, it was as if some horrible omen had been delivered to them. When Asha arrived home from the market, her father passed her the letter, a sadness in his eyes.

“It is for you.”

She opened the letter in the privacy of her room, using a knife to slice open the green wax seal. For a long moment, all she could do was stare at the broken seal, her breathing shallow. Several emotions raced through her mind, none of which she could properly name. With shaking hands, she pulled out the letter.

_ Lady Asha of The Southern Coastal Tribe, _

_ It gives me pleasure to inform you that at the most recent meeting of the Allfather’s defense counsel, your name was nominated to serve as an honorary member by the Queen Mother herself. As member of the King’s defense council, you will be asked to use your skills both to defend the throne and lend your strength whenever possible. You will be compensated for your service, of course, and provided board in the palace.  _

_ So, it is with great honor that I am requesting your presence at the royal palace of Asgard at once. You are under no obligation to satisfy this request, but it would be a most significant service to the throne. I have included parchment for your reply -- as soon as is convenient would be best. _

_ Yours truly, _

_ Prince Loki of Asgard _

Asha reread the letter several times, her eyes blurring over. She quickly set the paper aside so as not to ruin the ink with her tears. 

“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

She flinched, looking up to find her mother watching her from the doorway. The guilt that struck her sent a wave of fresh tears down her cheeks. Her mother crossed the room and sank onto the bed beside her, wrapping her arms around her. 

“I met someone - during my apprenticeship.” 

Her mother pulled back enough to look at her properly, a hand stroking her hair. “At the palace?”

Asha nodded, scrubbing her eyes. “I love him.”

She sighed, a small smile forming on her lips. “You’ll visit us, won’t you?”

“Of course!”

“Then go,” she laughed, her eyes growing wet as well. “You make me so proud,  _ manu iti _ .”

  
  


Asha didn’t waste any time with her reply. Although her younger brothers threw one of the biggest fits she had ever witnessed, her mind was made up. She would return to the royal city. 

One week later, a palace guard arrived to escort Asha on her trip. She kissed her parents goodbye while her younger brothers were more distracted by the sword on the guard’s hip than anything else. Her older brother would be married in less than a year, and she promised to make the trip back to see the ceremony. 

And then she was off.

  
  


Walking the palace halls again after years of being gone, Asha felt both comforted and distressed by their familiarity. After all, most of her apprenticeship she spent wishing to escape these very walls.

It felt like every corridor and staircase brought a new bad memory. Soon, Asha felt herself struggling for breath and curling and uncurling her fists at her side. 

The guard leading the way finally noticed her distress when she had to lean against the wall for support. 

She waved him off as he bent to help her. “I’m alright, I just need a moment.”

“Asha?”

She froze. That voice behind her, smooth yet sharp, could only belong to one person. “Loki?” she whispered, turning on her heel.

He watched her from down the hallway, frozen in place like her. He took a small step forward. And then two. And then he was sprinting, grabbing her by the shoulders when he met her. There was a wild smile on his face, so contagious it seemed to melt away all of Asha’s anxieties in that moment. 

“You came back,” he breathed, eyes darting around her form. “Look at you! Your hair’s grown so long!”

“I could say the same to you,” she laughed, reaching up to finger his long, black hair. “It looks good.”

“You think so?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but the guard who she’d honestly forgotten about cleared his throat and shuffled awkwardly behind them. “Oh, sorry, I’m taking my things to my room right now.”

Loki waved dismissively to the man. “Take your leave, I can lead her the rest of the way.”

Once they were alone, Asha spoke. “So Loki, tell me how you convinced the queen to recommend me for this position.”

“Me? I had nothing to do with it.”

“Somehow I don’t believe that.”

He broke into a smile. “You’re too clever. Alright, so I may have done a little persuading. It isn’t as if you aren’t qualified, though.”

She rolled her eyes. “Silvertongue.”

“You aren’t upset are you?”

“No,” she said. “No, I think I’d be happy to stay.”

  
  


Palace life was comfortable after that. Apparently, Asha’s position as “defender of the throne of Asgard” was much less violent and life-threatening than she’d pictured, and involved a lot more boring meetings to discuss strategies and foreign relations. Still, though, she wasn’t complaining. She  _ was  _ compensated handsomely, and was able to send money back to her family often. The job introduced her to people she otherwise would not have ever met - the prince Thor and his band of warrior friends being only a few. 

… There was _one_ other perk of living in the palace. 

Sometime after the new year, Loki and Asha’s infrequent, stolen kisses and brushing of hands morphed into something more serious. Eventually, she found herself sleeping in his chambers more often than she slept in her own. 

She knew, deep down, that it couldn’t work. Late at night, when he promised her they’d run away together someday, she knew it could never be. He was a prince - and would maybe one day be king. He had duties and responsibilities to the throne. His father would not take too kindly to his son running off with some village girl playing the part of a lady.

Still, though, she let herself fall deeper into that dream with every passing day. She cherished the moments they did have, even if things wouldn’t last forever. 

And for a few months, everything was perfect.

  
  


Thor’s coronation day was the turning point. When the frost giants broke into the vaults, Asha felt it in the pit of her stomach. A warning. An omen. Dread settled there, even after Odin declared the threat contained. Asha knew it wouldn’t be the end. 

She watched Thor, Loki and the warriors three depart for Jotunheim that very same day. She tried to invite herself along, but the princes insisted it would be too dangerous. So, she was left to wait. She paced her bedroom all evening, wringing her hands as her anxieties festered and consumed her. 

None of them seemed pleased when they returned, but Loki seemed truly changed. There was something completely off about him, but when Asha went to see him he only shut her out. 

On the third day that she knocked on his door, he opened it. He looked exhausted and disheveled, dark circles forming under his eyes. On instinct, she cupped his cheek to inspect him.

“Loki, what happened?”

That seemed to break something in him. She watched as his expression crumbled. He swept her into his room and shut the door behind them.

“I’m not who you think I am,” his voice broke and he turned away from her, striding to look out the window. 

Asha followed him, taking his hand in hers. “Loki, please talk to me. You know I’ll still love you, no matter what happens.”

He didn’t look at her right away. His jaw worked, every muscle in his body taught and ready to spring at a moment’s notice. 

Then, slowly, he began to turn blue. 

Asha gasped, free hand flying up to cover her mouth. With the transformation complete, he turned to look at her. His crimson eyes were guarded as he watched her confusion. 

“Do you see now? I’m the same monster mothers warn their children about. I’m one of  _ them,  _ Asha.”

She listened to his rant, tears blurring her vision. She reached up, gingerly tracing the new patterns on his face. “I don’t see a monster here. Just the same Loki I’ve always known.” 

He dipped his head, pulling her tight to his chest. His body shook with silent tears. She held him close as he cried, rubbing circles in his back. “Don’t worry… we’ll figure this out together, alright?” 

  
  
  


Only, they didn’t. It wasn’t long after that when Loki shut her out of his plans altogether. After all, if Loki could have the throne, he’d have no more use of some village girl. 

And a month later, she watched him fall from the bifrost. 

  
  
  


When Loki returned from Midgard, he truly was a different person. No matter how much Asha pushed, he couldn’t be reached. She watched him in the dungeons almost every day. She told him she loved him. She screamed at him. She hated him. She threw things at his cell. She cried. And he didn’t do anything. He sat, watching her with that same smirk every day. 

She knew things could never be the same, and yet she kept trying. She kept giving him second chances over and over again, only to be betrayed countless times. 

Even so, when Ragnarok claimed him, she mourned. Dead at the hands of Hela, and Asha could do nothing to stop it. She had never known such pain before, leaving her so raw and exposed. The grief was agony, and she felt it for a man who didn’t even love her anymore.

She thought it couldn’t get worse than that. And then the fires came.

Surtr, a creature bigger than any mountain she’d ever seen, rained fire on the planet. Asha fled the palace along with everyone else, but they wouldn’t be fast enough. Hundreds perished. 

Asha ran as far as her legs could take her. She needed to reach the coast. She needed to see that her family was safe. 

She didn’t get very far. Her injuries were substantial, and she collapsed on a hillside, the grass long since charred and black. She laid there and screamed with the little air left in her. She couldn’t end like this - she had to do  _ something.  _

She wasn’t sure how long she laid there, but as she watched the world burn around her, the planet consumed by ragnarok, she slowly found herself becoming more desperate. She wracked her brain for something,  _ anything  _ that she could do. 

At last, a spell revealed itself to her. It was one that she’d seen before in the palace archives, an ancient magic no longer in use. Something so powerful in nature that it could change the course of reality. It would buy her the time she needed to stop all of this, to cut it from the root. 

She could save Loki. 

She conjured up what little strength she had left and began the verse, trembling with the sheer power of it. She could feel the earth tipping, changing. The grass beneath her broken body sprouted anew and her flesh slowly restitched itself. And then, she lost consciousness.

  
  


When she opened her eyes again, it was January first. The palace was whole and intact, the servants all very much alive. The spell worked. 

She raced out of bed, not bothering to change out of her night things. She ran all the way to the library and into the common space she had so frequently sat in with the prince.

There he was. He was leaned back in his chair, looking so nonchalant and smug that Asha couldn’t help grinning.

He finally looked up from his book and laughed. “What the hel are you wearing, witch?”

She laughed, but broke into a sob soon after. “You’re alive!”

“Well, yes, I think so,” he said, crossing the space to get a look at her. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Never better,” she said, and she meant it. 

  
  


Things would be different this time. She could fix everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *taku tamahine = my little girl  
> *manu iti = little bird
> 
> I'm not a huge fan of flashback exposition chapters, but I felt like it was necessary for this story. Also, I mean, this chapter was super fun to write.


	7. Treason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly exposition :/
> 
> ~~and also a testament to my love for jane foster ~~~~~~

Asha left the dungeons in a rush soon after her confrontation with Loki, tears stinging her eyes. 

She couldn’t go reliving the past now - it wouldn’t do her any good. The only reason she had managed this long is by pushing those things out of her mind. He wasn’t the same person anymore and she couldn’t keep spending time with him as if he were.

She reached a hand up to rub her forehead.  _ Damn,  _ that had hurt. 

Once back into the main palace halls, she checked her pendant. In a few months, the efforts to rebuild the bifrost would be complete, opening travel throughout the realms once more. And then, the convergence would be upon them.

The convergence was inevitable - a major cosmic event occurring every five thousand years. Although Asha wished she could somehow postpone the whole ordeal for another century, there were some things that were truly out of her control. 

Unfortunately, Jane Foster’s involvement with the Aether and coming to Asgard would also be difficult to maneuver around. Asha would simply have to be prepared for the attacks that would follow. 

For now, all she could do was wait. 

  
  


\---

“Are you sure we haven’t met before?” 

Jane Foster stared up at Asha with wide, warm eyes. She was incredibly perceptive - almost annoyingly so. Asha wasn’t sure whether to admire that about her or not. 

Thor had only arrived this morning with Jane - who, at the time, had been clinging to him to support herself. The effect the Aether was having on her was apparent in her pale skin and the swaying of her feet. After only a day with the palace healers, though, she was already looking far more lively. 

Asha shook her head, “No, Jane, we have not. Thor speaks of you often, though.”

The woman gave a flustered laugh and looked between Asha and Thor. “R-Really?”

“Thor,” Asha cut in before the two of them could start gushing over each other all over again. “I assume you need someone to watch over her while she stays in the palace?”

He shook his head. “That won’t be necessary, Asha, my mother will be taking her under her care.”

_ This idiot.  _ Asha wanted to shake him. He seemed so oblivious to the danger anyone in proximity to the Aether really was. “I insist. The queen mother has so much responsibility as it is.”

“If you  _ insist,  _ then you may both accompany Jane. I do not see the point though, I think you underestimate my mother.”

_ I think you underestimate the dark elves,  _ she wanted to tell him. But instead, she gave him a tight smile and a nod. 

From there, she walked Jane to her room. She kept a careful distance from her as they went, though. The Aether was a powerful force, and Asha could feel the pull of her seidr to its core. Even being near an infinity stone was intoxicating in its own right. She was surprised - not for the first time - that the stone hadn’t torn through Jane’s mortal body like paper. The power levels coming from any one of the infinity stones were rumored to kill those who tried wielding them.

“I can see why Thor likes you,” Asha smiled at her. “You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

\---

The queen’s personal chambers were far less grand than you’d expect. Bookshelves lined the sand-colored marble walls, a bed and a sofa along the far side of the room, and a table stood in the center of the room. It looked no different (albeit a bit larger) than the guest bedroom Asha had stayed in all those years ago as Frigga’s apprentice. 

She and the queen took a seat at the table, each opening up a book to keep them occupied. Once Jane - who’d been looking even worse for wear the last few days, likely at her refusal to see the healers again - fell asleep on the sofa, Frigga spoke up. 

“I know what it is you’re doing, Asha.”

Asha stilled, but tried to school her expression. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean, your majesty.”

Frigga smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She closed her book and propped her chin in her hand. “I was raised by witches, you know. I am not as easily fooled as everyone else.”

“I don’t-”

“Enough, Asha.” She sighed. “I know how this day ends. And I know that you will try to stop it from happening, but I’m trying to tell you there is no use. You cannot change the future.”

Asha could feel her eyes widen, tongue thick in her throat. In all the times she’d relived this timeline, Frigga had never said those words to her. 

“How do you know that?” she finally sputtered out. “What makes you so sure things won’t end differently?”

She tutted and smiled. “The future is not as malleable as you think it is. There are some things you cannot change.”

Asha could only stare at her, her chest feeling unbearably heavy at her words. Tears pricked her eyes and blurred her vision.

“I don’t want to lose you.”  _ I don’t want to lose any of you.  _

“I’m afraid it’s my time. I’ve seen it coming for some time now,” she smiled and looked over at the sleeping Jane. “And if I die defending the woman my son loves, all the better.”

Asha sprang to her feet, palms splayed on the table. “You may be right about the future, but if you think I’ll just lie down and let that happen, you’re wrong.”

“Asha, be reasonable-”

“I lost my sense of reason quite some time ago, your majesty,” she laughed. “I’m afraid my pride is all I have left.”

Realization dawned on the queen’s face and she gasped. “This is not the first time you’ve done this.” 

It was more a statement than a question. Her tone was sober now. Colder. Asha shook her head.

“What are you doing?” The queen whispered, hand fluttering over her mouth. “How long?”

She shrugged in response. Truthfully, she’d lost track quite some time ago. “I’m doing my part to protect the throne.”  _ And the realm.  _

With that, she fled from the room, keeping her chin up even as tears spilled down her cheeks. 

\---

Even after she left, Asha didn’t dare stray far from the queen’s room. She paced the hallway in front of her chambers, a dagger in her hand and a scowl on her face. 

Frigga was wrong about the future. She  _ could  _ change things - she knew she could. This time things would be different.

After all, if she couldn’t, then… what has this all been for?

The sound of canons and crunching metal in the distance pulled Asha from her thoughts. And not a moment later, racing footsteps came from down the hall. She braced herself for the fight to come, channeling her magic into the dagger in her hand.

Malekith rounded the corner and behind him a hulking, horned creature. The creature almost looked to be made of stone, with black sockets behind his helm where his eyes should be and stood several heads taller than Malekith. 

_ That’s new. What the hel is that thing? _

Asha felt her stomach sink. That thing looked far bigger and stronger than her, but she refused to bow down now. She pushed her magic to its limit, charging the blade even further. 

“Lithua”  _ move,  _ Malekith barked at her as the pair drew near. “Dai ahi sirretty,”  _ or be moved. _

The blade in Asha’s hand began to glow, a crack piercing the air as her energy grew. She smirked. “Vuur nol helvethi,”  _ see you in hel. _

She charged at the pair, blade aimed for Malekith’s skull. Instead, she met the steel arm of the  _ thing  _ with a resounding clang. With a grunt, she drew back, just barely dodging a blow to the side from one of his massive arms. She aimed the dagger for the creature’s heart, but it glanced off his armor-like flesh. 

_ So, this thing is Malekith’s guard huh?  _ As she drew closer she could sense the thin tendrils of seidr pouring off the creature. She tried to use that to her advantage by drawing from his energy to charge her blade, but his magic was unlike anything she had ever used before. It repelled her, and her blade flew out of her hand. The skin of her palm burned and she watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and turned an ugly black. 

_ This is the power of the Aether,  _ she realized as the magic burned her. She released her hold on his magic as soon as the thought struck her. Malekith must still wield some of the infinity stone’s power, even after all these years. 

He approached her hunched form, face devoid of emotion. Malekith barked an order to his guard, one that Asha was too pained to register, and the creature descended on her at once. She managed to block his hand from wrapping around her throat, but missed the second fist as it sailed to her face.

And then everything went black.

\---

Asha did not attend the queen’s funeral in the following days.

There was no need. She’d witnessed it countless times now, and putting herself through the same torment felt gratuitous by now. Outside, lanterns filled the sky from the festivities, bathing her room in a golden light. 

Thor might ask after her, but she had the excuse of her injuries this time around. She glared down at her bandaged hand as she laid in bed. The wound had been blindingly painful when she regained consciousness, but by now had faded into a throbbing she could ignore if she chose. The properties of the Aether were still unknown to her, but the wound on her hand was no ordinary thing. 

She was used to her magic aiding the healing process - stitching gashes overnight like nothing - but after days the gnarly, bubbled burns on her hand remained. It belatedly occurred to her that the wound itself was draining her of her power. 

It wasn’t so powerful that time couldn’t heal it - that much she could tell, at least. But the way it stripped her seidr so cleanly and effortlessly in just days had her disturbed. She picked at the bandages now as she laid in bed, wincing when her fingernails met the broken flesh beneath. 

This would certainly cripple her plans. There was little she could do for now without her magic  _ and  _ without her dominant hand. The absence of her seidr left her feeling raw and exposed in ways she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

But, it was just another failing to add to her ever-growing list. She failed to protect Frigga. She failed to stop Malekith from escaping Asgard. She failed to fight off his creature. She lost her power. 

The last conversation she shared with the queen came to mind. Was she simply doomed to repeat this fate over and over again? Would there really be no end to this?

Was there no stopping Ragnarok?

She turned away from the glowing window and tugged her blankets up over her head. She’d think of a way to fix this all in the morning. If her slow healing process was anything to go by, though, it could be weeks before she’d be able to put anything else in motion.

\---

Asha stood near the back of the group comprising Odin’s defense council, just barely able to make out the glowing hologram map of Asgard between the tall shoulders in front of her. 

She was fairly adept at making herself invisible by now, and with the loss of presence her seidr gave her, it was even easier today. She half-listened as one of the older councilmen droned on about the history of Svartalfheim, picking at her bandaged hand absently.

Fandral’s voice caught her attention. He stood at the very front, addressing Odin directly. “...We are still unable to restore the palace shields. Our artillery cannot detect them, even Heimdall cannot see them. My King, we are all but defenseless.”

_ No defense, no shields, outgunned and outmanned, but Odin will try to wage war on the dark elves regardless. Grief for the queen has made him blind.  _ Asha didn’t bother looking up at the sound of familiar, heavy footsteps intruding the meeting.  _ And it looks like someone finally put that together himself.  _

Thor approached them, face clouded with anger and hammer in hand. When he spoke, he spoke with fire. “She's your prisoner now?” He turned to the council. “Leave us.”

_ Jane? _

Asha snapped her head up, eyes wide. She moved in to ask where they took her, but an arm on her shoulder stopped her in her tracks. Fanrdal steered her out of the meeting hall, glancing back at the two arguing men.

“I wouldn’t get in the middle of that,” he grinned, although it was strained. 

“They didn’t move Jane to the dungeons, did they? She needs to be under strict supervision-”

“Relax, she’s just been moved to a more guarded wing of the palace. What are you so tense for? Things will be alright.”

His smile faded under the weight of her stare. 

She crossed her arms and sighed. “I wouldn’t be so sure. It’s as you said, we’re defenseless at the moment.”

“Well let’s hear it then, what’s  _ your  _ bright idea?” He snarked, leaning against a marble column once they were away from the meeting hall.

She rolled her eyes. “You know as well as I do that Jane cannot stay on Asgard. The dark elves will stop at nothing to obtain the Aether. Thor seems to have realized it as well,” She nodded back at the hall as shouts drifted from the room. 

Fandral looked thoughtful for a moment. “Even so, we can’t exactly whisk her away. You heard it yourself in Odin’s council, he intends to close the bifrost indefinitely.” His eyes lit up in realization and he looked at her. “You sent Thor to Midgard yourself, didn’t you? Surely you could do the same now?”

_ Word travels quickly here, doesn’t it?  _ Asha grimaced at the memory of the powerful spell she and the queen used to send Thor to Midgard. Even then, she relied heavily on Frigga to finish the spell - it would be impossible now with her powers drained. She instinctively grabbed her bandaged hand, trying not to noticeably wince at the thought. 

“Sending Thor was one thing, but sending multiple people to another planet would be another task entirely,” she said once she’d regained some confidence in her voice. “Besides, the Aether is highly unstable, it could react badly to such a spell.”

“Damn,” he sighed, running a hand along his chin. “There must be some other way…”

“Well, there is  _ one  _ way… I’ve heard rumors of secret passages all throughout Asgard that act as portals between worlds.”

Fandral scoffed, pushing himself upright. “Those are nothing but old wives tales!”

“They are not!”

“They are too!” he said matter-of-factly and crossed his arms. “There are no secret passageways!”

\---

“Asgard is home to many secret passageways,” Heimdall spoke in a hushed tone at the table the warriors three occupied. 

Asha smirked at Fandral from across the table, her grin growing when he glared back at her. 

After Thor’s confrontation with Odin, he decided to take matters into his own hands to draw the dark elves away from Asgard. Asha joined him along with the warriors three, Sif and Heimdall later that same night in a tavern only a few streets away from the royal palace. 

The tavern was a bustling place, even in the wee hours of the morning. Torch light filled the enormous room, servers pushed between crowded tables to deliver drinks. Couples took to one corner of the room near the band to dance. Even with the recent events, the atmosphere was lively and loud. 

_ Asgardians are really only good at drinking and dancing, after all,  _ Asha pondered as she watched one couple drunkenly swing to the beat, nearly toppling a table on their way. 

Despite the noise, Asha knew they weren’t entirely safe here. Being inside the royal city meant there was more danger in being overheard. Palace guards and captains and ladies and dukes drank at tables only a few feet away from them - and the crown prince was a difficult silhouette to ignore. Asha could only pray they had enough drink in them to forget any of the plans they might overhear. 

“They are known only to a few,” Heimdall continued, pulling his headscarf a little more securely to conceal his face and hide his voice. 

“Only to one, actually,” Thor interjected. 

His companions were silent for a beat until realization dawned on them.

“No,” Volstagg shook his head, blanching.

“We do not have a choice,” Thor sighed, swirling a mug of ale. “We need to break him out of the dungeons if we want to escape.”

“And if he betrays you?” Sif hissed, hand hovering over her staff as if Loki would suddenly jump out of the shadows behind her at the mere mention of himself.

“I know Loki. He wants revenge for our Mother’s death - it is an opportunity he will not refuse.”

Thor spoke confidently enough, but Asha knew better. She could see the cracks. He wasn’t so sure he could trust his brother anymore at all, and it ate at him. She briefly wondered if his posturing was for the benefit of his friends or for himself.

Fandral spoke next. “Well, what then? Say we break Loki out of the dungeons - which will not be easy - your lovely mortal is being guarded by a legion of our Einherjar who will see you coming from miles away.”

“I won't be the one who comes for her. Sif, I need you to disarm the guards stationed outside her quarters.”

“And what of the Allfather?” She asked incredulously, one sleek brow arched. 

“It is my sworn duty to notify him of crimes against the throne,” Heimdall said. 

“Will you tell him?” Asha asked.

He turned his golden eyes to her. “I intend to commit my own treason. It should buy you some time,” he replied casually with a languid roll of his shoulders. As if the statement were as bland to him as the forecast. 

Beside him, Volstagg seemed to pale even further. “Assuming you can get Loki's help, and you can free this mortal, what good would it do? We'd all be dead the minute we step one foot outside the palace.”

Thor chuckled. “That, my friend, is why we won't be leaving by foot. We will leave with Malekith’s ship - and that is where you come in. I will need you to defend us while we get it off the ground.”

The man swallowed and gave a stiff nod. 

“Good. Fandral will follow behind and act as back up. Asha, I trust you can keep Loki in check if you come with me?”

She scoffed. “I’ve done nothing else for the last year, have I?”

Thor looked confused by her statement but laughed nonetheless. “Then it is settled. I understand that what I have asked of you all is treason of the highest order. Success will bring us exile and failure shall mean our death. Malekith knew the Aether was here, he can sense its power. If we do nothing he will come for it again, but this time lay waste to all of Asgard.”

His companions nodded, the spirit at the table renewed and invigorated. In unison, they raised their mugs in a toast, sloshing amber liquid onto the table. 

“For Asgard!” Fandral grinned.

“For Asgard!” The rest seconded.

All except Asha, who sat listening to the ticking of her pendant as she tried to come up with some way this could all turn out alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry for taking a month-long hiatus from this story. This chapter was just... painful to write honestly. I've never liked TDW so I was not stoked for this chapter (and originally this was going to cover all the events of the movie but it was getting kind of lengthy so I thought I'd cut it down into multiple chapters). Plus, with everything going on, writing fanfiction has definitely not been at the forefront of my thoughts.
> 
> That being said, I hope to get back to updating nearly weekly like I was before. I hope you and your families are all safe!!!


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